On Friday I met my CBT therapist, M.
I was terrified before I went, and when I got into the room I was shaking uncontrollably and clutching my elephant and polar bear like I was worried I might fall off the world. J, the lady who did my assessment, was smiling at me sympathetically and kept asking if I was ok which was kind. Once I started talking, thankfully I calmed down and we had a really positive meet and greet session.
M seems really calm, really relaxed but still confident, without being arrogant. He has a sort of understated belief in himself which I found really reassuring. He was really attentive in listening to my worries and said all the right things to answer my worries. He seems to have lots of good ideas surrounding how to help me manage, which is great and I am happy that he seems proactive, alongside supportive.
Little liked him too. He doesn’t move quickly or joltingly, and his voice is really calming and measured and quite quiet but still confident. He didn’t scare her and I’m so glad.
We start twice weekly, next Monday. One week today, I’ll have had my first session. I am nervous, but not as nervous as I was before meeting him!
I’ve read the book (“Overcoming Binge Eating” by Chris Fairburn), well, part one anyway, and I’m journaling all my feelings. I want to get started now.
I read an email I had sent, a few years ago now, from myself to a lady who was a nutritionist. The email says,
I have so many problems with my eating, and I am scared they are getting out of control. I’m looking for someone to help me.
That was 3 years ago. If only I’d listened to that part of me, then.
I’m excited to destroy the EDNOS troll who has this grip over my life.