The Last Night


We’ve watched our last xfactor.

We’ve eaten our last meal as housemates.

We’ve said our last “good nights”.

He is sleeping; he has work in the morning. I am awake; I have to start my life again in the morning.

Earlier, he sat on my bed with his head towards mine, his soft, warm hair against my cheek, and I remembered how much I loved that boy. I have loved that boy with everything I had to give. I loved that boy.

I wonder whether, if we’d met 10 years later, would we have been each other’s forever? Would we have been grown up enough to make our love work?

I loved you with all my heart, beautiful boy. I am sorry that was not enough.



5 responses »

  1. Reblogged this on Understanding Me and Her and commented:

    Reblogging this… this was written a year ago today. A year ago today, I was in our spare room, of our house, absolutely terrified about moving out tomorrow and starting my life over.

    In the lowest low, I am still immensely proud of myself.

    He rang, to tell me he has a new girlfriend tonight. So sweet of him to ring before it goes all over social media. But all the same – I remember this pain so well. It stings tonight.

    And I am still so sorry that it was not enough. xx

  2. I’m assuming you have recognized that the one year anniversary could be contributing to your current pain. If it is so (I really am in no position to know this), then this too shall pass, even if not fast enough.

    • T thinks the anniversary is contributing too. I’m not so sure. It was a year since our actual split a month or so ago. That seemed worse. I dunno. Think I’m just too down to feel anything than the noise of it

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