Stupidity Is.

Standard

Stupidity is thinking clothes shopping would be a nice sleepy Sunday activity.

Stupidity is putting on shorts and dresses and thinking wow, I actually look ok.

Stupidity is convincing myself that my lumps and bumps (my hit-list parts) look ok in the clothes.

Stupidity is looking down.

Stupidity is seeing my scars on my ankle, made 6 weeks ago.

Stupidity is believing that I could actually ever be pretty.

Fat isn’t permanent, it can be worked on and changed. The scars that decorate my ankles, though, they’re not going anywhere. They will always make me ugly.

Permanent ugliness, caused by my own hand. Now THAT’S stupidity.

x

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3 responses »

  1. If you met someone with the same scars i.e. me, would you think that I was ugly? I’m guessing no. So why be so hard on yourself? You are not sad, bad and dangerous to know. Those scars that you wear are stories of survival, stories of being here no matter what. They are your battle scars that show someone with an iron will to get by no matter what. They belong to someone who is sensitive or why else would she feel so much pain? They belong to someone who is searching for a space that allows her to grow and heal or you would not be trying and searching everywhere and being brave by going to therapy and exposing your very vulnerable heart? They are the scars of a brave and courageous person who has endured and has not given up.

    You are not ugly or stupid. You are beautifully unique.
    I wear my own battle scars and out of all the things I do not accept, I accept my scars because without them, I would never have made it to my 30’s.

    Much love Flower xx

    • Thanks hun. I, of course, would never judge you but that’s because your pain was genuine – I feel like mine was pathetic, I should have just got over mine? It shouldn’t have been a big deal.

      • Your pain is genuine. If I’d been through what you’d been through then I’d have cause to be troubled, as it is I’ve not had to survive the terrible trauma you have, so really I have nothing to complain about.

        One day, all of this won’t feel so overwhelming and may be you will come to a point where you use it to help others , becoming a T yourself xx

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