This is a silly post I suppose. Not a long one, anyway.
Fell out with my ex this weekend, over seeing the dogs. I extended the olive branch tonight, and we spoke. He’s fine. He didn’t mean to shout. I can see the boys soon.
He won’t let me even borrow a key to drop the dogs back home. I think he’s being ridiculous and have told him that on numerous occasions.
Tonight I asked him why. What is he afraid of – that I’ll snoop through my old house??
“Because when I’m with you, being separated from you is really hard, and I want to keep that boundary.”
What does that even mean?! Are you finding it hard too, my love?
Oh god, beautiful boy, I miss you. I miss you on nights when I am sleepy and on nights when work has been hard. I miss you when I need a cuddle or when I just need someone to share space with. I do not miss our relationship, splitting was definitely the right thing, and I love being free, but I miss you – my beautiful boy, my first love, my soulmate – I miss you. More than words can describe.
Our hearts are separated twins, once conjoined, now so glad for their freedom and the chance to live as they always desired, but pining for the space and weight that once filled that gap. My heart aches for yours tonight.
I love you, Boo. I always have, and I always will. Thank you for setting me free.