Lessons I Have Learned In Therapy This Week

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You shouldn’t be honest about feeling suicidal, because it makes people panic and cover their own professional backsides.

You shouldn’t be honest when really intense trauma emotions come up, because if they are transferential, and you express any of those feelings at your therapist (despite her regularly encouraging you to), she will build her walls up and distance herself from you so quickly it is only the plumes of black smoke that will tell of her departure.

Don’t expect someone to love you through everything. Expect that they will find their breaking point with you – just like everyone always does.

Just because your T repeatedly calls you by her daughter’s name when you are upset, don’t expect that the same T actually cares about you.

Do not expect that because they offer you a hug, they still care. That hug offer comes from the same person who then threatens to ring your GP.

Do not expect your therapist to have faith in you. Do not be shocked when it turns out they don’t think you’re doing as well as they’ve spent hundreds of hours saying.

Remember that telling the truth about what hurts, gets you into trouble.

Don’t forget that you were always going to be left eventually.

Don’t forget that you are scum.

Don’t be honest.

Don’t break down.

Don’t show weakness.

Don’t forget your place.

Don’t forget you will never be loved.

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4 responses »

  1. This list is so sad. I am sorry that you had to learn such depressing lessons in something that is supposed to be helpful. You might not believe me, but you are loved. You really are!

  2. You sound like you had a really tough session. I’m sorry. You should know though that you do deserve love. And happiness. I’m sorry your t made you feel so bad. hugs!

  3. Wow. Tough. I’ve experienced all of these feelings in therapy…. hang in there. If you need to offload, email me xx

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