Reblogging this… this was written a year ago today. A year ago today, I was in our spare room, of our house, absolutely terrified about moving out tomorrow and starting my life over.
In the lowest low, I am still immensely proud of myself.
He rang, to tell me he has a new girlfriend tonight. So sweet of him to ring before it goes all over social media. But all the same – I remember this pain so well. It stings tonight.
And I am still so sorry that it was not enough. xx
We’ve watched our last xfactor.
We’ve eaten our last meal as housemates.
We’ve said our last “good nights”.
He is sleeping; he has work in the morning. I am awake; I have to start my life again in the morning.
Earlier, he sat on my bed with his head towards mine, his soft, warm hair against my cheek, and I remembered how much I loved that boy. I have loved that boy with everything I had to give. I loved that boy.
I wonder whether, if we’d met 10 years later, would we have been each other’s forever? Would we have been grown up enough to make our love work?
I loved you with all my heart, beautiful boy. I am sorry that was not enough.