I always want
To extreme, or excess.
I want
The brightest stars,
The highest mountains,
The greatest waves,
The deepest hugs.

Someone once said I was
All or nothing.
Zero or one.

They might be right.

My unbalanced balance scales,
My sharp, cruel metronome,
Goes from ‘never’ to ‘eternity’
Never hurt me,
Never leave me,
Love me forever.

There is no middle.
In a world of rainbow colours,
I have black, or white.

So when you are gone,
(When She was gone)
There is no ‘in a minute’,
There is no pause,
No interlude,
No countdown.

There is only black,
And the absolute certainty,
Resisting all contrary evidence,
That black can never be white again.

When you are here,
I cannot see a future without you in it.
I see you, behind every hope,
Every ambition, every freezeframe.
When you are gone,
I cannot see even a near future with you.
Those stars,
Those that spell your name,
Are suddenly invisible
Under this cloak of black.

You are a stargazer,
My astronomer.
You know the stories they hold.
Their truths.

Tell me.
Can you still see the stars?




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