So after 4 days of sitting and waiting and trying not to lose myself to madness entirely, T emailed tonight.
“I just wanted to check in and let you know I was safe because I know you will be wondering. I don’t know whether I will definitely be back for Thursday night but I wondered if we could do a session on the telephone one time that suited you. It isn’t always
easy to know in advance when I am free but I do have some free time and I would be happy to do a telephone session. As soon as I know definitely re Thursday night I will let you know.”
So, it still feels really unsettled to me. She doesn’t know for sure and I think it’s likely to cause more upset if I pin my hopes on a time and then she cancels.
Would this be an okay plan?
1.Speak to R as planned on Thursday.
2. Keep my appointment with GP as planned.
3. Email T back and ask her to speak but around those fixed points. Then if she does cancel on me I’ve kept secure support in place?
I think that sounds okay. Bizarrely having been desperate to hear from her, now I have I don’t quite feel ready to speak to her. A bit too raw, maybe.
That’s insecure attachment though, isn’t it. Screaming and crying to be picked up. Then screaming and crying to be put down.
P.s. Sass is not impressed. How dare T suggest that she KNOWS we will be thinking about her. Screw that… Sass doesn’t care at all. Oh dear.