R’s Thank You…

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I am getting married soon. It felt really important to me to be able to thank those who have supported me to this place. This is the first of a few thank you notes…

Dear R,

Hopefully you will open this on the … and I will be getting married today! In amongst all the planning for the day it felt really important to me to be able to thank the people who have made it possible for me to be healthy, secure and happy enough for this day to be happening. So, this is my thank you…

We first met in 2011. Nearly 6 years ago! When I started in therapy with you I was terrified of my life. Everything was a swirling mess of chaos and I was drowning. I knew I needed help to take control but even the options for help themselves were terrifying. Then we met and the first thing I remember about you was how beautifully human you were. Support couldn’t possibly be terrifying when it came with your genuine care and gentle guidance. So many impossible things became possible with you.

Since then, life has become less terrifying and just more and more exciting. It is incredible to look back at the terrified 21 year old and see how different she is from me now. Getting married – being a wife and all that brings too – would have been impossible for her. Now it feels like an incredible adventure. I know that without your support throughout, I would never have grown into a person whole enough to step forward into that.

When we walk along the coastline in …, the slate always fascinates me. The way it is formed, so much pressure over time, and how it comprises of so many layers. I love the contradiction in it’s strength in many ways but also it’s fragility when its edges are knocked or bumped. I love the way it can be beautifully shaped by the sea when it guides and smoothes and supports.

My wedding day is a day for gratitude –  I know that today, because of all your kindness, warmth, energy and honesty, I am blessed. I can often feel the contradictions within myself – the fragility and the strength – but I know that you have been the support and guidance which has helped shape me in spite of that and made it possible for everything to feel so very beautiful.

With much love and gratitude, today and always,

Me.

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3 responses »

  1. This is beautiful. I’m so happy for you. I know it’s been a long road for you, and that you went through so much to get to where you are, but when I read your story, I just have so much hope for you. I guess I see myself in some ways, except I came to therapy and support and help after I was married and after I had my daughter— I think of how much better my relationship with my hubby would be if I had had the strength to deal with abd face things when I was younger. Things happen the way they are meant to, and I’m okay with the path my growth and healing has taken, but I’m just very pleased for you that you are starting this adventure called marriage from the self aware, supported place you are. It’s going to be amazing. I’m very happy for you. Hugs and best wishes. 🤗💫👰🏼

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